Hello friends,
Many of you have continued to encourage me about posting my Facebook status as blog posts here. I agree that most of these updates are more appropriately a daily journal of my recovery and therefore could benefit my Masto friend many of which are not on Facebook. I will not go back and post my older status updates here but will start from now on to post. If you would like to go back and read the older posts feel free to send me a friend request here https://www.facebook.com/christal.stockwellboxberger
Blessings,
Christal
Day 203 Friday – Last night I tested the medication. I had no reaction at 1mg or at 3mg but my lips and throat suddenly swelled up 5mg. It was very painful and I was remembering how this fall I was living like this 24/7. I was so thankful for the progress I have made. It is not painful today but it is still pretty swollen. I am not discourage. It’s very possible I just did to much- I’m seeing a trend here. My dr says when you are trying something new it’s done with “brute force and awkwardness”. In other words it’s really hard to get up the courage to try because of the potential reaction but you just have to go for it. When you finally summon all the bravery you have it’s hard to know where it should end. It’s like trying to jump in the deep end of the pool but only going down two feet. When my Angelina Jolie lips have gone away I will try again. I think I will try 1 mg the first day and gradually increase the dose by 1mg each additional night. It will take 10 days.
Many of you talk to me outside of Facebook or the blog and I get a ton of questions about how I can be hopeful when surrounded by what seems to be just one setback after another. Today is the day when we traditionally remember Christ’s death in the cross. As my friend David Busic used to say, Good Friday was not the end of Jesus’ story, Resurrection Sunday was coming. Friends, family, and followers that saw him die on that cross, no doubt, had lost hope. They had an idea of how things were going to go and now Jesus was dead. They saw no future because they were viewing the situation by only what they could see. Thankfully we have a God that is infinitely bigger that we are. His death was not the end, it was actually the beginning. We must learn to view our situations not through our own eyes but through bigger enteral eyes. My favorite verse I that learned way back as a Pathfinder in Caravans says “Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”. When our children are babies they cry when they have a need and as parents we show up to feed, change, or comfort them. They have faith we will make everything better. When this cycle is repeated over and over again that child knows their parents will take care of them. They trust us and instinctively run to us when they fall and are hurting. They know we will provide whatever they need and will make everything alright. This is how it works with our Heavenly Father too. God specializes in what looks like impossible and hopeless situations to us. I have faith in Him, know He will take care of me, and I trust in his timing.